I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
