wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
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I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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