i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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