worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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