He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
