I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I need a burrito and a hug.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i out mim tonsoeep
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
