You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
