You're completely useless in the revolution.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize