oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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