As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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