the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
