Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
