I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you have to choose: penises or morals?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
third nipple confirmed
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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