Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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