a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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