Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
