What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
