You smell like stripper and shame
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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