In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
