fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
They took my balls.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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