he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
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You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
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You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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