and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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