I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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