I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
