Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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