The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Come on in and take your pants off
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