I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
