I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
