too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
