lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
