why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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