Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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