I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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