When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
