It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize