so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize