Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
