The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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