Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
