Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
