There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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