We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
