I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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