kristin has been a bad kristin
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
