Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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