It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
ttyl tear gas
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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