what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
