a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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