Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
a search helicopter?!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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