The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
