Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
