Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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