you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
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There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
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You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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