Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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