You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
