I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
