We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
