Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
