He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
