Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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