Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
