I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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