I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
