I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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