i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
