Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
