Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
