what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
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I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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